How bad can it be to not understand whats happening around you and with you? The feeling of denial, hatred, anxiety, gathers around you to make you feel unwanted in this world. These thoughts give you the feeling of being alone and not worthy of anything. You notice people moving ahead in their lives, achieving their goals and you on the other hand seating ideally and not doing anything of worth. No motivation to get up from your bed and go ahead with the day. No amount of sleep can cure the feeling of depression. You feel lonely in the world full of people, you doubt yourself, you start to question your existence. Deep within you want to talk to someone, you want to share the feeling, you want to cry out aloud , you want to yell and shout and say it loud what you are going through, but instead you remain quiet and prefer your thoughts to eat you up rather than going out and talking to someone. You will talk to people about their problems and try to solve them, but you will never share your problems with anyone and try to hide it from everyone around. This fear of hiding your feelings is depression. You start to fear from your life, you prefer death than living.….
Things are falling apart and so are you but the fear of people judging you will not let you go ahead and take decisions for your life. You are scared, you don’t feel confident anymore, you want to run away and start a new life, thinking it might solve all the problems. Running away seems to be easy than fight. You know that you have to let go of things and people, but the fear of being alone will not let you do it. You will have the feeling of losing everything all at once and that will break you from within. You will want to be happy but deep within there will be a feeling screaming at you and saying “ you don’t deserve it”. that’s depression. You will feel suffocated when everybody around you will breathe properly.
Depression is living in a body who is ready to fight but the soul has already given up. You fill yourself with sorrows and sadness, you will not try to find happiness with the fear that it will be taken away from you and you will be left alone and broken again. You might have everything but still, the feeling of emptiness will not leave you. You start to question everybody around you. You hardly trust anyone. The feeling of exhaustion from trying and convincing people will hold you back and will not let you go out and be strong. The inside thoughts will hold you so tight, you will not find any need to go out and talk to people.
Depression will hold you so tight and will not let you see happiness in anything. It’s you who have to stand and trust yourself and fight against it. Fight for your happiness, start to go out, have faith in things and trust the timings. Try to trust people, have faith in your friends and family. The strongest people are not those who we see winning at everything, the strongest are those who come out of their fears and are ready to fight in order to live a happy life. The bravest thing is to continue living when you wanted to die. Every thought is a battle, fight with it. Every breath is a war, win it. Remind yourself its OK not to be perfect. Everybody has fears, the champions are the one who is ready to face all the challenges and fight for life. Everything depends on what you see. Widen your horizon and live your life. You only have one life make good use of it. Talk to people, share your thoughts, talk about the issues and try to resolve them. Never give up on yourself.